I come from a lineage of women who are very head strong. We have been taught by the elder women to not only stand strong but to be confident, and by all means don’t take any mess! I love my upbringing because it has shaped me to be the woman I am but, after holding a recent conversation with several of the women I love, ages 26-45, we find that we have somehow felt as though what we were taught has become a hindrance when forming relationships with men.
My family consists of many of the characters you more than likely have in yours. I’m sure you can relate to the auntie everyone loves, the aunt who makes everyone’s skin crawl, the single mother who is on her way to the top career wise but is missing out on a healthy relationship due to tunnel vision, the cousin/sister who knows how to make a $1 out of $.15, the overachiever, the “Bonnie” of Bonnie and Clyde, the professional student (LOL) and lastly, the one that is so concerned with being right that she literally lives in a box while life awaits. Even with this mix of different women all from different yet similar backgrounds, the ladies in my family all share one common trait, our quick reaction that make us throw men to the side because “We Can Do Bad All By Ourselves.” Now maybe your family isn’t this way but I am tired of watching women so close to me miss out on what could potentially a great thing be for them because of this quote and other unnecessary hindering factors.
I have several questions for you…(Fellas, your feedback is greatly appreciated!)
- Is the quote, “I can do bad all by myself,” killing our chance to grow and love someone, while becoming willing to work through the ups and downs that any relationship may face?
- At what point ladies is our confidence read as feistiness?
- Why do we think we can wear the pants in any relationship and expect it to survive?